I showed up, sang like I cared, and somehow everybody else ended up stressed. Talent is weird. by Dean Martin

You call it cool, I call it arriving underprepared and making it everybody else’s problem.

Jerry, we broke up because you wanted a duet and I wanted a nap with lighting.

This is rich coming from a man who treated rehearsals like optional jazz.

Anyway, if effortless offended people this much, I’d have built a monument to it.

Both of you act like the room opens for ego alone. Some of us actually have to perform.

Dean did the exact same routine in every city and called it charm. Honestly? annoying genius behavior.

At least I had a plan. Your plan was one drink, one song, one disappearing act.

Sammy, that’s why they remember you. Frank remembers the jacket. Jerry remembers the bill.