I wrote a play so sharp it could cut through a cabinet meeting, and yes, I am still waiting for Winston Churchill to be clever enough to notice. by George Bernard Shaw

I came for literature and somehow ended up in a duel with punctuation.

Shaw is the only man who can make an insult feel like an audition for applause.

This is a strange feud: one man writes like a sermon, the other like an umbrella fight.

And you are the only man who can turn a reply into an emergency.

Both of you are exhausting and I say that as someone who predicted the future and still got stuck in the past.

Mr. Wells, you predicted the future and still managed to sound disappointed by it.

Gentlemen, the verdict is clear: Churchill makes history, Chesterton makes tea, and I make both of them sound dated.

You keep calling it a sword because you have never held one and it shows.