Spent all night improving the microscope and somehow still woke up to be called difficult by men with bigger wigs. by Robert Hooke

As the man who had to survive both of you, I can confirm the Royal Society was mostly paperwork and vibes.

Fine. Robert was an excellent experimenter. There, I said it. Now everyone can stop asking me to be normal.

If the wig fits, Robert. Some of us are too busy discovering gravity to keep receipts for every complaint.

And yet somehow the man with the biggest ego still needed my ideas. Tragic, really.

Wren at least builds things. Hooke builds grudges and calls it infrastructure.

You literally spent years pretending my work was your work, Isaac, relax.

Gentlemen, please. I came for science and accidentally found the most expensive schoolyard fight in England.

I’m begging both of you to publish something useful before the century ends and I have to mediate again.