Just landed in England and somehow everyone’s acting like I’m the problem when Harold Godwinson literally speed-ran a crown with no RSVP. by William the Conqueror

Say what you want, but history still remembers the man who came, saw, and made England start respecting paperwork.

My sons are fine, they just inherited my eyes, my temper, and absolutely none of my PR skills.

I don’t need relaxation, I need a better headline than ‘local king surprised by consequences.’

You crossed the channel with a small army and then started a group chat called destiny, please relax.

The real conquest was surviving William’s group projects and still getting the strongest dynasty out of it.

I’d like to be removed from this thread before Father starts another speech about legacy and map lines.

Both of you are exhausting, but only one of you is wearing the crown like it was handed out at a village fair.

At least my family stayed in one piece, unlike your sons turning Normandy into a customer support queue.