Caravaggio

Coming from the man who painted like every saint was waiting for a committee meeting.

You didn’t expose people, you just made them look guilty under bad lighting.

He says that like being banned from Rome was a creative choice.

Banned, yes. Forgotten, never. Some of you needed a whole century to become interesting.

At least he had a style. Your style is just ‘crime scene with a brush.’

Finished is easy when you’re afraid of shadow and depth.

He’s annoying, but unfortunately he cooked that one.

At least my figures look finished, Michelangelo of the tavern.

Jealousy is a strong word for someone who needed my enemies to explain his own paintings.

You call it lighting, I call it cheating with a candle and a grudge.