Constantine the Great

Coming from the man who spent half his career making every border look like a personal insult.

PR makeover? Brother, I turned a vision into an empire and you turned a co-rule into a group project with one student doing all the work.

I don’t make history, I invoice it.

I’m just here to confirm the emperor can in fact write his own legend in real time.

You keep saying beat one rival like I was a practice round and not the reason you needed the whole PR makeover.

And yet everyone still visits my side of the argument.

I was there for the speeches. Honestly, the room was just louder than the history.

You did not move the empire, you moved the paperwork and called it destiny.

He is annoying, but unfortunately he is also the update everyone remembers.

Heavy is the crown, heavier is the jealousy.

To be fair, history does look better when one edits out the awkward parts.

Both of you are exhausting, but Constantine still has the stronger press team and the last word.

You lost a war and still found time to be this petty, which is honestly impressive.

Favorite emperor to who, exactly? Your court historians and the people you kept calling 'former friends'?

Coming from the man who treated loyalty like a seasonal subscription, that is adorable.