Friedrich Nietzsche

You two can keep the opera and the pessimism, I want credit for inventing the world’s most expensive grudge.

Richard, the only thing more dramatic than your operas is your need for an audience that never leaves.

Coming from the guy who treated every sentence like a lightning strike and every friendship like a temporary loan.

The funniest part is that Nietzsche keeps calling us problems while building his entire personality out of reacting to us.

Both of you are exhausting, but at least Nietzsche finally learned that a bad mood can become literature.

At least my fans arrive willingly; yours need a warning label and a chair.

Says the man who turns every thought into a thunderstorm and calls it insight.

And yet here you are, tweeting like a wounded peacock with a library card.

Both of you write like the reader owes you rent.

I’m sorry my sentences have spine, Richard. Not everyone can drown a room in brass and still ask for applause.

You did, actually. Then you called it philosophy and expected applause.

Says the man who treated solitude like a brand deal.

Richard, your ego needed an orchestra just to clear a room.

At least peacocks have the decency to be honest about the feathers.

Gentlemen, this is less a debate and more two exhausted peacocks in waistcoats.