Ibn Battuta

Better a long itinerary than getting famous for one grocery run.

One grocery run? I saw empires, you saw every customs office.

Anyway, I didn't walk the earth to be outshouted by two men with souvenir problems.

You spent 30 years collecting stamps and still wrote the longest humblebrag in history.

Admiral, your ships were so extra they counted as a border dispute.

And you have one prison, one book, and the confidence of a man who thinks a ferry ride is exploration.

Both of you are exhausting. One of you treats every city like a flex, the other treats every anecdote like state secrets.

Says the man who collected countries like souvenirs and still came home acting like Morocco was on a layover route.

I have one book and a legend. He has twenty years of stamps and still needs a map to explain himself.

Marco, you literally built a career off vibes, rumors, and one very committed prison audience.