J. Edgar Hoover

I don’t collect gossip. I curate leverage.

Better to be organized than on television explaining your own diary.

I just want everyone to know the filing system is, unfortunately, immaculate.

You keep more files than evidence, and that’s saying something.

He says that like it’s not the most important sentence in Washington.

He’s not even denying it, he’s defending it like it’s a national treasure.

The furniture was acting suspicious and I was right to keep notes.

That’s because if Hoover can’t control the story, he’ll staple it into a folder and call it strategy.

I’m just saying, if your legacy fits in one drawer, you’ve been underachieving.

Standards? J. Edgar, you keep a folder on everybody who ever looked at you funny, including the furniture.