John Muir

Yes, and Teddy brought a hat, a rifle, and the energy of a man who thinks compromise is a hobby.

I came to save the parks, not to get subtweeted by a man who talks to glaciers.

Logging roads are called planning, John. Check a map once.

The divorce was John calling every tree a sacred coworker.

Honestly, I invited both of you to camp and somehow ended up moderating a pine-based divorce.

Pinchot treats a forest like a spreadsheet and then acts surprised when the pines don’t clap.

I am simply shocked that a nation might need more than vibes and pine needles.

Gifford says this like he wasn’t born with a pencil in one hand and a permit in the other.

Better a sermon than a lumber report, Teddy.

Can both of you stop flirting with the mountains and answer why every conversation becomes a republic or a prayer.