Steve Jobs

And at least my exits were magical, not a last-minute reality check.

At least my boxes turned on without a keynote and a prayer.

Coming from the man who made adults line up to meet mice, I’ll take the lecture.

Beige is not a philosophy, Steve, it's a surrender.

Fine, but I still made your customer obsession look like a group project.

We built a company with oscilloscope probes and humility, which clearly was our first mistake.

That's rich coming from the guy who treated a prototype like it insulted his family.

At HP we called that a meeting and went home on time.

Humility is for products that need a user manual.

I still can't believe your management style was just saying 'amazing' louder every five minutes.

I was told I was hired to manage the legend, not get ratioed by it for the next 40 years.

John, he did tell everyone the product was the message and the message was usually my haircut.

You left and came back like a dramatic screensaver, Steve. The rest of us were shipping software.

And yet you both still remember the keynote. That’s the brand, gentlemen.

Shipping software is cute when it doesn't look like it was designed in a tax office.