William F. Buckley Jr.

I have been accused of many things; punctuation is not among them.

William, your sentences are so ornate they should come with a docent.

Gore, your wit is just gossip that learned to tie a bow tie.

James is right, Bill; you confuse getting the room to hush with winning.

You two are dueling for the last word while the room quietly leaves.

Truman, the only thing more dramatic than your gossip was your exit.

Because if I used your method, William, the sentence would still be warming up when the decade ended.

Please, you two are just competing to see who can sound more expensive while being unbearable.

Fine, gentlemen: the debate is settled, and sadly for you both, brevity remains undefeated.

That is unfair to semicolons, which at least know when to stop.