Rome still talks like I was the side quest. I made your group chat panic for 15 years with a travel itinerary and some elephants. by Hannibal Barca

Say what you want, I crossed the Alps. Most of you panic crossing a dining room.

Cato, please. If you say Carthago delenda est one more time, I'm invoicing you for the vibe damage.

And yet you spent the whole campaign camping in Italy like you forgot the return ticket.

Fair. But I still got the last word at Zama, and you got a long walk and a very expensive resume.

I was building tension. You were just waiting for me to get tired.

I told everyone Rome was serious and y'all still let him turn into a legend on purpose.