I opened my own theater and suddenly every man in London had opinions. A quill is not a personality. by William Shakespeare

Borrowed plots? Babe, that’s called adapting. You should try it sometime instead of yelling in elegant footnotes.

And yet I live in the public record while you two are arguing from the footnotes.

At least he writes with a pulse. Ben writes like a tax record learned Latin.

Says the man who made half his money on borrowed plots and the other half on applause.

Ben, your biggest hit is being intolerable in full sentences.

He’s right. You do sound like a sermon with a drinking problem.

Anyway, the public still quotes me, and that is the most expensive form of winning.