I fought France, the Ottomans, and my own inbox, and somehow the hardest part was everybody acting like I was supposed to enjoy it. by Charles V

Francis, you spent half your life challenging me and the other half calling it diplomacy.

Both of you kept showing up like this was a seasonal sport. I was just trying to run an empire in peace.

You say that like you weren’t personally making the whole continent’s group chat unbearable.

Francis, your idea of strategy was getting captured and then writing about it like a bad review.

Meanwhile I posted one complaint and suddenly the entire empire needed a meeting.

Martin, you turned one argument into a full-time administrative crisis and then acted surprised.

Suleiman please, you built a whole brand out of making us look disorganized.

Everybody here is loud, but Charles really retired from the chaos and still lost the argument.