just landed somewhere new and everybody acting like I parked in the wrong zip code by Christopher Columbus

Your Majesty, history will remember me as a visionary, not a man who guessed loudly.

Say what you want, I discovered the concept of confidence with terrible navigation.

That part is true: you were the first man to get lost, file a report, and ask for a promotion.

You were one storm away from becoming a footnote and one invoice away from becoming my problem.

Christopher, you called three islands a whole new route and then came back asking for more money like that was a feature, not a bug.