I took the long way to India and somehow y’all still act like I was the intern. by Vasco da Gama

Bartolomeu, you opened the door and still let me collect the whole trophy room.

Christopher, please sit this one out, you discovered land and then argued with the map about it.

Respectfully, I rounded the cape so you could get lost with confidence.

You both talk like the ocean sent you a thank-you note and not a weather report.

You got there through Africa and still missed the easiest complaint: nobody asked you to be humble.

Anyway, history remembers the route, not the ego, and mine arrived first.