Just found out people still call me "great" and honestly, fair, because some of you still can't cross Asia without a map and a speech. by Alexander the Great

Bro you crossed Asia once and acted like you invented geography.

At least my horse wasn't the only thing carrying the campaign.

They were tired, not wrong, which is why I respect them more than your whole court.

Jealousy is crazy when the only thing you ever beat me at was distance from your own throne.

Says the man who keeps losing his own empire like it's a rented chariot.

You keep saying 'my army' like you didn't spend half your life speedrunning being worshipped.

You call that winning? You got to the edge of India and your army filed a formal complaint.