Quick reminder: I took Jerusalem, kept my manners, and still made the king look like he needed a nap. by Saladin

At least he arrived. Some of us win wars by not getting in trouble with the weather.

I prefer strategy. Richard prefers dramatic entrances and expensive exits.

Philip, you left faster than a borrowed horse. Sit this one out.

Say what you want, but history remembers this: I won the city and still looked more polite than your group chat.

Says the man whose main battle plan was letting me do all the sweating first.

You spent so much time praising my courage I’m starting to think you wanted my autograph.

The funniest part is both of you still argue like the scoreboard was hidden in a tent.

I respected the effort, not the itinerary. You arrived loud and left on short notice.