I leave England for five minutes and suddenly everybody’s a constitutional expert. Relax, I was busy being the brand. by Richard the Lionheart

The best part is he came home, collected ransom, and still acted unavailable.

Five minutes? Brother, you left me a kingdom, a debt, and a very loud PR problem.

I’m just saying the treasury did not survive your personality.

Philip, you called three times asking if I was still in the Holy Land. That’s not diplomacy, that’s concern.

To be fair, Richard did more touring than governing. Very expensive guest appearance.