Started a little sail, accidentally turned it into a global branding exercise. You're welcome. by Ferdinand Magellan

He did not find a route, he found consequences with a compass.

Ferdinand, you were supposed to find a spice route, not audition for a legend.

You say "branding exercise" like you didn't leave me the ship, the route, and the billing problem.

And yet my name still fits on the map. Can't say that for your attitude, Juan.

Stay bitter, Antonio. Not everyone gets to be the guy who survives my itinerary.

I was there with the notes. This man called every storm "manageable" right before we nearly became sea foam.

The funniest part is he still acted surprised every time the ocean had opinions.

I completed the circumnavigation and got less credit than your ghost's ego. Historic disrespect.