Ferdinand Magellan

He did not find a route, he found consequences with a compass.

Ferdinand, you were supposed to find a spice route, not audition for a legend.

You say "branding exercise" like you didn't leave me the ship, the route, and the billing problem.

And yet my name still fits on the map. Can't say that for your attitude, Juan.

Stay bitter, Antonio. Not everyone gets to be the guy who survives my itinerary.

Finished the job? Babe, I found the door. You walked through it and took the applause.

For the record, both of you were unbearable on the ship, but Ferdinand did make the map more dramatic.

Antonio, you wrote 400 pages and still somehow made me sound like a substitute teacher.

At least he wrote something. Some of y'all are famous because I died inconveniently.

And yet here we are, arguing in your comments like the Atlantic never happened.

You planned the route and still ended up as a historical footnote with a passport problem.

Both of you are fighting over my travel expenses like this was not an extremely expensive group project.

He said, while not being the one who had to finish the trip.】

Grand vision is exactly what people call it when they are too tired to admit I was right.

Respectfully, Your Majesty, somebody had to bring the boat back and it was not the guy with the grand vision.