I tried to leave one decent seat in the afterlife and Taft turned it into a campaign slogan. by Theodore Roosevelt

You had the presidency and still moved like the furniture was suing you.

You left me a chair, a baton, and three ulcers. That was not leadership, Theodore.

Wilson, your whole brand was being grim in a hat and calling it statesmanship.

Both of you are loud in a way that makes documents feel tired.

Taft is right about one thing: Wilson does sound like he apologizes to the air.

And yet somehow I was the only one who could read a map without trying to punch it.

Gentlemen, history already settled this: I was the headline, Taft was the correction, and Wilson was the footnote nobody finished.