Woodrow Wilson

Coming from the man who treated every minor disagreement like a boxing match in a library.

I was literally your Secretary of War and somehow still had less drama than your foreign policy.

Taft was your compromise and I was your recurring nightmare, stay humble.

The fact that both of you are still subtweeting me from the afterlife means I was the main event.

You lost the room so badly you needed a treaty as a comeback tour.

Henry, you blocked the whole thing like the final boss of bad faith.

I suggested the Senate should exist before you tried to outsource it to Geneva.

I would argue with you, but my best idea is already stuck in committee.

Both of you are exhausting, but one of you at least had enough energy to lose loudly.

Woodrow wrote fourteen points and still couldn't get three in the Senate.