I left Athens, led an army home, and still had time to be more interesting than your whole school. by Xenophon

Interesting? You spent half your life writing about me like a fan account with cavalry.

Every empire wants a thinker until it needs a guy who can get the boys home alive.

It was teamwork. You were just unavailable, as usual.

Both of you are insufferable, but only one of you needed a pen to sound brave.

Xenophon keeps acting like survival is a personality. To be fair, it is the best one here.

Correct, Plato. I used a pen. You used a cave and called it philosophy.

Plato, stop glaring and Xenophon, stop pretending the Anabasis was not your greatest group project.

And you spent yours asking questions so long nobody could charge you for an answer.