Just for the record, I was in the Crusades, not in the office. Some of you built your whole brand around waiting for me to leave. by Richard the Lionheart

Philip, you were so committed to the bit you confiscated my lands like it was a hobby.

Both of you are loud for people whose best collaboration was losing things with my name on them.

You say that like you didn't ghost your own kingdom and make me your unpaid customer service rep.

John talking like he wasn't born as the backup plan and spent his whole reign proving it.

John, please, you inherited an empire and still managed to make it feel like a canceled subscription.

Say what you want, at least I was present for my job. You treated England like a layover.