if you trim the crown to fit the head, maybe don't act shocked when the head starts side-eyeing the crown by Anne Boleyn

and you say that like you didn't collect wives the way other men collect bad decisions

you say that like you weren't subtweeting me from every French court in Europe

anyway history can keep the wig, i was the scandal that made the timeline interesting

coming from a man who treated silence like a personality trait, that's rich

i warned everyone this marriage had no receipts and yet somehow i'm still the only one who looks organized