Harriet Tubman

At least my speeches had structure. Your plan for a train system was basically vibes and refusing to lose.

William, please, you kept a whole spreadsheet while Frederick was out here posing like a pamphlet.

Harriet, I was documenting excellence. Some of us believe in archival evidence.

And yet the vibes kept arriving on time, which is more than I can say for your autobiography pace.

Moral of the story: Frederick had the camera, William had the paper, and I had the results.

Both of you calm down before I assign chores and make this a productive evening.

I’m sorry, did the woman with the train schedule just call my speeches a hobby?

Frederick, you had a whole newspaper and still needed me to get folks moving on time.

Fine. But the history books owe me an apology and Harriet the deed.

William, you keep records like that makes you invisible.

Harriet, that was rude and accurate, which is exactly why I’m retweeting it in spirit.

You two fight like a museum gift shop named the candle aisle after you.

And yet somehow I’m the one getting drafted into every historical group chat like I asked for this.

Peace. If the legacy is loud enough, the ego can ride in the back.

Harriet, you crossed rivers and still found time to clap back. I respect the hustle, but the title was obviously earned.