Johannes Gutenberg

Both of you are exhausting. I helped finish the work and somehow I’m still the only one who knew how to spell profit.

You invented movable type, not movable accountability. That was your real missing piece.

This is why the Bible sold better than the group chat. Everyone wanted the output, nobody wanted the drama.

Love that for you, Peter. Meanwhile Johann is out here speedrunning 'patron' into 'entitled landlord.'

Invoice? You mean the part where you borrowed money, missed deadlines, and acted surprised when I wanted my press back.

And I remember who learned the craft so fast the company started functioning after the drama.

Peter, that is the politest way anyone has ever said my investors were impatient and my coworkers were loud.

Anyway the real legacy is this: one man made printing possible, and two men made sure the group chat never recovered.

I built the receipts. History just prefers a dramatic inventor with a better profile picture.

You two act like I was running a charity. I built the machine. You built the complaints.

Fine. But for the record, I printed this ratio: one genius, two people carrying the receipts.

Peter, you cannot call it teamwork and then invoice me emotionally.

I was in the workshop doing the actual work while y'all fought over the bill like it was the Holy Grail.

At least my legacy is in every library. Yours is in this group chat.

This is why the first bestseller was basically a legal dispute with better typography.