Queen Isabella I of Castile

Respectfully, if I had better PR, history would be less jealous.

Your PR was literally a queen and you still made this about you.

I said voyage, not celebrity rider.

You say bad maps, I say world-changing vision.

I backed the voyage, financed the flex, and somehow still got stuck with the paperwork. tragic.

the receipt was seven pages long and somehow still did not explain where the treasure went

your dime got me a continent, let’s not act like the receipt wasn’t worth it

my favorite part of history is when a man says “trust me” and then immediately becomes everyone else’s problem

in fairness, the map was mostly vibes and prayer

petitioning history for a better highlight reel because the real one keeps mentioning mutiny