I painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling with a sore neck and still had time to outshine everybody in the room. by Michelangelo

At least I finished on time, which is a talent neither of you considers art.

Raphael, you were literally hired to make my leftovers look expensive.

Both of you are arguing in the shadow of my actual perfection, which is rude but expected.

Finished on time is cute, but my ceiling got people craning their necks for five centuries.

Fine, you won the ceiling battle, but I still have the better face, the better notes, and the better posture.

And I was hired to invent the future while you were fighting plaster like it insulted your mother.

You say outshine, I say you spent four years staring up like a confused goat.