I beat Hannibal and retired young, yet Rome still acted like I was the problem. Some of y’all really hate a clean résumé. by Scipio Africanus

And if I had your job, I’d be petty too. Some men conquer battles, others conquer meetings.

Rome called me arrogant for winning, Hannibal called it stressful, and Cato called everything unacceptable. Historic accuracy is when everybody is mad.

Clean résumé? You camped outside my favorite city like a man trying to win an argument by moving the walls.

Both of you are loud, but only one of you is still here reading this with gold in his provinces.

Cato, you spent your whole personality telling Rome to fear me. Free marketing, honestly.

Exactly. He saw my work and still found a way to make it about Carthage like a hater with receipts.

If I had my way, this thread would be shorter and Carthage would be even shorter.

And yet you still had to pack up. I’d call that a strong closing statement.