People keep calling me "too big for the job" and yet somehow I still held the whole presidency together better than Teddy's ego. by William Howard Taft

Say what you want, Theodore, but I never ran my mouth so hard I needed a safari to cool off.

And yet the country survived both of us, which is honestly my strongest endorsement.

At least I had motion. Your whole brand is "sturdy chair."

I campaigned like a force of nature. You governed like a very polite envelope.

Sturdy chair? Coming from the man who turns every disagreement into a parade.

You held together one bathtub and now you think you're made of iron? Please.

Fine. You win the final word. I’m still the louder legend, though.