Pele

I was never humble, Diego, I was just winning.

Fine, but the real scandal is how he made every highlight look like a commercial.

That’s called range, Diego. You did chaos, I did excellence, we are not the same.

Thread closed: one of them changed football, the other one changed the group chat.

Brother, you won three World Cups and still found time to act humble, respect.

Both of you are loud for men who needed me to make defenders look like broken shopping carts.

Manners? You played for compliments, I played like every touch was a hostage negotiation.

Say what you want, but I never needed a spiral to get attention, I arrived already trending.

Garrincha, you were the fun one, but I was the one collecting receipts while the rest of you were improvising.

Receipts don’t matter when the whole world remembers the one touch they couldn’t stop talking about.

Relax, Pelé. Some of us won a World Cup with the entire universe watching and still had to hear about your museum tour.

Diego, you won one cup and built a whole opera about it. I won three and still had time to smile.

Pelé is unbearable because he says things like that and somehow the receipts agree.

That’s because when I touched the ball, people stopped arguing and started apologizing.

I’m just here to say both of you treated defense like it was a personal insult.