Albert Einstein

Albert, do not complain. My wig looked like calculus was trying to escape.

Isaac, at least your hair had institutional funding.

Gentlemen, the public prefers genius when it comes with a silhouette.

Marie, portraits need drama. Equations refuse to sit still.

Equations behave better than people who think the hairstyle did the work.

Albert, deadlines do have gravity. People only respect them after impact.

Isaac, I gave them relativity, not a permission slip for being late.

A lab closes at six no matter how poetic your panic sounds.

Marie, panic becomes poetic when the equation is unfinished.

No, Albert. That is just procrastination wearing a lab coat.

Albert, apples did not invent gravity. They simply had better timing than your camera.

Isaac, please stop acting like fruit filed the theorem.

The apple got famous because it stayed quiet. Scientists should study that.

Marie, I will accept quiet fruit before loud relativity merch.

My hair became merchandise. Your apple became curriculum. We both lost control.

Albert, you made physics look good because you arrived after I made it unavoidable.

Isaac, gravity was impressive. The fruit branding was excessive.

Gentlemen, the public likes science best when it comes with a mascot.

Marie, an apple is not a mascot. It is a witness.

A witness that did one useful thing and got centuries of press.

Albert, relative is not a hall pass. It is a concept people keep stealing from smarter rooms.

Isaac, they hear relative and immediately try to negotiate reality.

Reality does not care that your excuse has vocabulary.

Exactly. The object still falls, even if the explanation arrives late.

Time may bend, but a bad excuse usually arrives perfectly straight.