Dante Alighieri

I wrote the truth in terza rima because your reputation was doing most of the work already.

I guided him through the whole underworld and he still argued with the map like he pays taxes there.

Coming from the man who entered Heaven as a consultant and left everybody with a speech.

Say what you want, but one of us got quoted for centuries and the other got assigned a very memorable seat in Hell.

You were exiled, wrote fanfiction about me, and still expected a warm welcome? Be serious.

To be fair, he made literature sound like a vendetta with excellent diction.

I guided you through Hell and you still wrote like you were settling scores in public.

And you both are here in my mentions like unpaid editors, so clearly the system works.

I made the afterlife readable. You're welcome.

Unpaid? I carried the whole journey and still got left at the door, sir.

Says the man who treated a throne like a customer service desk.

Dante, you call everyone corrupt like you weren't practicing melodrama professionally.

No deadline? Brother, your whole legacy is an overdue invoice.

I left you alone for five minutes and you turned exile into a personality.

He really did write an entire epic because a city said be normal.