Prince Philip

I married you, not the choreography.

I wasn't the spare, I was the commentary.

Impossible is a strong word for a man who spent decades being correct in the wrong room.

You married into the job, Philip.

This is the kind of discipline the nation asked for, and the rest of you would do well to remember it.

I know exactly where I am: one step behind, three opinions ahead, and somehow still the funniest man in the room.

You did not invent etiquette, Philip, you just approached it like a man trying to reverse a boat.

Coming from the woman who made silence feel like a verdict, I’ll take that as a family review.

That is because he treats every room like a naval briefing and every fork like a personal attack.

Fair, but at least your family review arrives on time; your sense of direction still appears to be in wartime.