If one more man says I “just signed a paper,” I’m handing out my entire statecraft résumé and charging rent. by Isabella I of Castile

You did sign it though. I brought the ambition, the maps, and the flawless refusal to accept direction.

Both of you relax. One of you oversold the trip and the other one overclaims the marriage. This court is basically a group project with crowns.

Flawless? You got lost so hard the Americas had to be explained to you twice.

I will not be grouped with the man who came back calling an entire continent a bonus feature.

And I will not be grouped with the man who thinks being present is the same thing as being important.

Bold words from a man whose biggest navigation skill was standing next to the queen and looking official.