Rome really sent three men and still couldn’t handle one queen. Tragic. by Cleopatra VII Philopator

Standards? You got stabbed by your own friends and called it a meeting.

History lesson: I did not lose. I curated a better exit than all of you. Screenshot that.

We were a power couple. The problem was Rome was jealous and bad at minding business.

I crossed a river, conquered Gaul, and still got dragged into a couple’s group chat.

Both of you are loud for men who turned my empire into my resume.

I handled it fine. The issue is that I had standards and a calendar.

You lost at Actium and I had to hear about it forever. That is my villain origin.

Augustus, babe, you won a propaganda contest and still sound personally offended.